Domestic abuse or violence doesn’t only happen physically. It is a kind of behavior in which the purpose is to gain control and power over a partner, spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend and any intimate family member. Abuse is considered as learned behaviors, which is not only caused by mental problems, drugs, anger, alcohol and other common excuses. It is a pattern of incidents that includes coercive, controlling, degrading, threatening, and violent behaviors like sexual violence. These abuses can happen to anyone, but the problem is, if is often denied, excused and overlooked.
Types of Abuse
Control – controlling behavior is a belief that your partner has justified. It is mostly subtle, pervasive and always insidious. This includes cases like always monitoring your phone calls and not allowing you to receive any calls, you have no freedom to choose clothing styles, hairstyle and makeup, and invading your privacy by not allowing your own time and space.
Physical Abuse – physical abuse is an abuse which involves physical aggressive behavior, indirect physical harmful behavior, physical needs or withholding and threat of physical abuse. This includes, punching, pulling, hitting slapping, kicking, burning and other physical assaults. Withholding from physical needs like interruption of meals and sleep, transportation, denying money, locking you up inside the house and holding you as a hostage also includes in physical abuse.
Sexual Abuse – in this kind of abuse, the abuser uses forcing sex to another person. With the consent of sexual activities in your past will not be an indicator of the current consent. It may involve physical and verbal behavior. Example of sexual abuse are forcing you to have sex, involuntary involvement in prostitution, making fun of others sexuality, withholding sex as part of control mechanism, making offensive statements for someone’s sexuality and making contact in a nonconsensual way to the victim.
Emotional abuse and Intimidation – it is a behavior which exploits other’s insecurity, vulnerability and character. These behaviors include intimidation, brainwashing, degradation, manipulation and control of others for the detriment of a victim. Cases including emotional abuse are insulting, criticizing, accusing, reality distorting statements, ignoring and neglecting your needs and requests, telling you hurtful words and uses any form of manipulation.
Isolation – it is closely similar and connected to controlling. Isolation is not an isolated behavior, it is the outcome of different kinds of abusive behavior. By limiting and keeping you from doing what you want, seeing someone you wanted to see, controlling your feelings, and isolating you from resources may be the causes of a broken relationship. Isolation starts mostly as an expression of his love with statements like if you truly love me the, you will spend your time with me and do what I wanted to do. As the isolation expands, you will be limited contact with others but only with him.
Verbal Abuse – any kind of abusive language to embarrass, denigrate and threaten you is a kind of verbal abuse. This includes calling you different offensive names, screaming, yelling, and telling you that you are undesirable and unattractive.